“I work hard (He works hard.) every day of my life. I work ’til I ache in my bones.” – Queen, Somebody to Love

The weather is changing. The gentle cool of a mother’s lips in the morning has been replaced by the jarring chill of the first lass I ever asked on a date.

Frost is the watchword, and yesterday it remained almost the entire day. That’s not today’s tale.

I’ve been thinking about relationships and their origin. Many are blood relations, but in looking back on my own life as well as umpteen conversations with others, almost all relationships are by choice.

Don’t believe me? I’ll share.

I am the penultimate introvert. The entirety of my life consists of finding ways to be alone. Ironically, the best alone time happens around loads of people.

We were waiting our turn to be seated at a chain Italian restaurant. I won’t share the name, but I’ll give a hint. I have never seen an olive tree nor garden within 500 feet of one. Plus the landscaping leaves a bit to be desired. It’s cheap and fast when I’m being lazy.

There were throngs of people eagerly or with various degrees of angst awaiting the vibration of their coaster that has never seen a drink set upon it from its creation. We were no different.

People talk to me. Mostly I do not encourage it. I’m perfectly happy to snuggle up to Theresa, one of the few people who can touch me without heebie-jeebies making my skin break out in goose bumps. I tend to sit quietly and think more often than not. People still feel the urge to talk to me. I haven’t a clue why. I’m normal looking, do not make eye contact, and usually am dressed in an outfit that says ‘potential lunatic.’. Doesn’t matter. Apparently flip flops and gawdy t-shirts and terrible looking pajama bottoms or cargo shorts indicate to the world I must be a mighty keeper of secrets. Our dinner date was no different.

I knew what was coming. Often I’ll deliberately turn away, but this elder gentleman, gray grizzled hair, suit and tie, mahogany skin, and fidgety had something major on his mind. I smiled.

He took his cue.

“Lemme tell ya. I hates family unions. Hate ’em worse than a summer cold.”

I leaned in. This was going to be good.

He spouted for a long time. I learned that it was his family’s 60th reunion. He was 78 and had just lost his wife to the big C the prior year. We cried together as I shared my own bout with the big C with him. That wasn’t why he chose me.

We were alone in a sea of humanity. His coaster had long since been collected and dinner was well on its way toward becoming an integral part of his lanky form. He had more to share.

He could have screamed his secret without anyone caring. He chose to whisper.

He hated the family reunions. He utterly loved and adored his family. He hated the dress up, the pomp, the fakeness the family reunions had become. Plus he’d rather have had a good home cooked meal, preferably barbecue without the eyes of strangers wondering the event.

I shared with him my secret for avoiding such affairs. Bluntness. Directness. Honesty.

His family had paid the bill and were coming to collect him on their way to the cars. He stopped his daughter or granddaughter and pulled her aside. From his description, I knew she’d been responsible for planning the reunion.

A hushed but intense conversation ensued. It was followed by tears and a hug. I managed to catch enough snippets to know that she hated the dress up as much as him and that next year the reunion would be held privately.

He gave me a secret wink and mouthed a thank you as he walked arm in arm with his daughter toward their car.

Yes, I love being an introvert. Sometimes I love even more when I choose not to be.

Peace.

65 thoughts on ““I work hard (He works hard.) every day of my life. I work ’til I ache in my bones.” – Queen, Somebody to Love”

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